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  • Writer's pictureLauren

Today, it is too much

On Monday you give out smiles. You work, you cook, you run.

On Tuesday you give out kindness. You work, you read, you learn.

On Wednesday you give out advice. You work, you clean, you help.

On Thursday you give out energy. You work, you think, you do.

But today? Today it is too much.

Today you have nothing left to give. The food you eat is cheap and tasteless. The dust builds up, the clothes remain unwashed. The questions remain unanswered, the words unsaid. You are an empty vessel, exhausted and depleted.

On Monday your mask is bright and bold. People buzz around you, drawn to what you represent.

On Tuesday your mask is expressive and loving. People come closer to bathe in your warmth.

On Wednesday your mask is friendly and open, welcoming in both friend and foe.

On Thursday your mask is strong and severe. You are headstrong and determined, your most empowered and inspiring self.

But today? Today it is too much.

Your mask has slipped. You hide away, face and feelings covered. Tomorrow your mask will be back. But today? Today it is too much.

We all have these days. Days when suddenly the clock is ticking backwards, you're suddenly not at all sure how you got here, and you wake up to silence when once the birds were singing. Days when the crystal clear vision of your life is now lost in a haze of thick fog, and there is so much noise in your mind that just won't shut up.

On this day, you don't feel like being strong, or clever, or getting anything done. You don't want to see anyone, you don't want to talk. Work feels too hard, people are too irritating. You feel so sad, and that fills you up.

Do you allow yourself this day? Do you fight it until your head hurts, or do you say enough is enough and throw your hands up in surrender? This day is here for a reason; to tell you something. You need this day. Take this day. You are not giving up, you are not saying 'I quit.' You are pausing, and as with everything that can be paused, it can and will start again soon.

This day is confusing and it can hurt. In this moment, you may become convinced that those days of giving, loving and living, are done.

But trust this. Tomorrow you will smile again.

But today? Today it is too much.

Lauren x


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