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  • Lauren

To those who hurt us

An open letter...





First please know, you do not own us, you do not own our lives. You don’t hold sway over our thoughts and you don’t decide how we feel.


You may have taken something small but that something you can now keep. For every hole left and every scar that’s healed, only stronger have we grown.


Can you hold your head up and say with resolution, “I have never knowingly tried to hurt another person?” Because we have. We may say or do something that may trigger something buried. We may have acted in self defence or done what we needed in order to survive. But we have never done something that we knew would cause damage and we never ever would.

So to those who have hurt us in the past, we are moving on. You do not deserve the time and the space in our heads or our hearts.


To those who will hurt us, and I’m certain there will be more. You may come for a moment but you will be gone as fast. We won’t linger over the pain and we won’t let it change us. We are good people who deserve good things. So do you, but you have to be ready for that and maybe you just aren’t right now.


None of us have to be victims. We can take the pain inflicted on us and we can use it. We can build on the wound and learn from it. Perhaps someone has come into our life to teach us something. To show us how to cope with something going forward. To build up walls or take them down. To work out what we do or don’t really want. To discover who we are and what makes us this way,


To those who love us and leave without a word, to those who mock us and those who judge. To those who put us down to feel better about themselves. To those who don’t take the time to stop and ask and understand. To those who said the things they knew would cut us the deepest. To those who lied and allowed us to open our hearts when we didn’t think we even could. To those who picked us up and tossed us aside as if we didn’t matter at all.


To those who hurt us, We are writing this for us, not for you. You may take something from this and we hope that you will. Maybe you will work out why you felt the need to do what you have done, or stop it from happening again. We will leave that to you, it's not up to us to rescue you or even ask you to change, But what we are doing is writing this in order to let you know that we are fine. We are not looking back, we are done.



Lauren x