If you are reading this, chances are you’re not even sure why you are, or quite how you ended up here.
Why would you need to see a counsellor? Everything‘s FINE in your life. You have a good job, a family and friends. You live in relative luxury in a first world country.
There are people so much worse off than you.
There are children STARVING in the world.
So tell me, does that mean you have no right to feel the way you do?
I once heard a story. A man injured in the war lost a leg. This to him was the end of his world. One day he was at a rehabilitation centre and met a man. A man who had lost two legs. How stupid I am for feeling bad, he thought, this man has much worse problems than I do. He felt guilt and shame for feeling the way he did.
The next time he visited the centre, he met another man. This man had only lost a foot. This man has a much better quality of life than me, he realised. He has only lost a foot when I have lost my entire leg.
Suddenly the man understood. There would always be people who appeared worse off than him. And there would always be people who seemed better off. But did that mean that any of them weren’t justified in their own feelings?
Some people experience unspeakable traumas. Some people struggle to get through each day.
Yes, there are children starving in the world.
Does that mean that you can’t feel depressed or alone or disappointed or worried about things in your own life? Is their life more important than yours? Should you suppress your own problems and natural human emotions? CAN you?
I’m here to tell you that you have EVERY right to feel the way you do about any problem you have in your life. There will always be people better and worse off. You are human and your feelings are completely valid. If you tell yourself there are starving children in the world, can you then “get over” it? Will pushing your own emotions down somehow help to feed those poor children? What if you could feel bad and want to help them but also acknowledge and give weight to your own issues at the same time?
Life can be cruel and difficult and unfair. For everyone. Take time for your own feelings and know that they are just as important as everyone elses.
Lauren x