What are you worth? When people ask this question, I often wonder…how can our worth actually be measured? In wealth, possessions, achievements? Number of friends, our abilities, our age? When you look at it this way, it can be hard to imagine.
It’s an odd question and a pretty abstract way of describing ourselves when we really think about it. But actually, knowing your worth is one of the most important things you can do. Is one person worth more than the other? Can we line up everyone we know in order? No, you don’t need to measure your worth against anyone else. You don’t need to come to a number out of 10 or a percentage. You can’t assign yourself a place in the list of who has the most and who has the least. Because your worth is exactly the same as every single other person in the world, and it’s about time you realise that.
In fact, your worth doesn’t even need to be measured. Your worth describes you, all of you, the very essence of you. It says you are enough exactly as you are. Whether you have more money or less, many friends or few, have a partner or are single. You don’t need to add anything or earn anything, you are already done. Anything you find or build for yourself is simply a bonus. Want to make changes to your looks or your attitude? Great, go for it. But only if you know you are already worth enough as you are, and anything else is just extra.
You are already the perfect version of yourself.
This isn’t about boasting, being self-involved or having a huge ego. We aren’t trying to show off or prove we are better than anyone else. All we are doing is saying hey I’m here, this is me, and I have the same right to breathe the same air as everyone else. I deserve to be happy. Oh and you know what? I’m actually a pretty great person too.
Why don’t we say this? Why do we cringe at the mere thought of it? We have been programmed to hide our light under a bushel and remain modest and understated. We should accept compliments when given and any rewards are flattering. But only from others of course. I don’t get it though. If we aren’t upsetting anyone or claiming to be better or worth more than them, why can’t we celebrate ourselves as we would a friend or loved one? If we can say that someone else is amazing, why can’t we say it about ourselves too?
You may now be wondering...but why is it so important to know my worth? The answer is simple. Not only will it bring you immeasurable happiness and contentment, but just as importantly, you won’t allow anyone to treat you any less than you deserve. You wouldn’t pay £5 for a bar of gold. You know it is rare, special, and in demand. You know that walking into a shop and handing over pennies for it would be laughable. Disrespectful even. You wouldn’t even blink if you had to pay hundreds for it. So if you can do this for gold, why can't you do it for yourself? Why are you allowing others to offer you pennies when you yourself are priceless?
If you feel worthless, you will let people into your life who treat you as though you are too.
You deserve the world. You deserve everything. So don’t let them give you anything less than that. Finding it hard to agree? Then you need to do some serious work on your own self worth so that you do.
But how the hell do I actually build my self worth?
This is a question I'm asked nearly every day and I wish I could give you an easy answer. If you google it, you will find many activities, mantras and ideas out there. I am positive you will find things that speak to you, that help you. But this is the one piece of advice I personally want to give you, that you won't find in many other places. Ask yourself these questions and then make a decision. Do you want to love yourself? Do you want to only receive the treatment you deserve? Are you willing to let go of the people who can't recognise your value? If the answer is yes, ask yourself again. And again. Don't just say yes if deep down you know the answer is no. You need to be ready to take down the wall you've built up around yourself, and to make a clear decision to move forward. Only then will you finally begin to develop a sense of true, unwavering self worth. You can do it, you're amazing after all.
Lauren x