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  • Writer's pictureLauren

Be angry

So, someone has hurt you. Someone has taken your trust and torn it apart while you watched, helpless. Someone has told you exactly what they know will destroy you, without a second thought. Someone has broken your vulnerable, exposed heart and now no-one else is getting in.

Someone has hurt you. Someone has burnt you. So why are you accepting that this is okay?

So, something happened to you. Something traumatic, harrowing, terrifying. Something that has hollowed you out and left you frightened and frozen. Something has happened to you. Something has shattered you. So why are you feeling the pressure to just shrug and let it go?

Anger is a powerful emotion. You can try and ignore it, but it’s not going to simply disappear. You may be holding it down right now but can you feel it stirring somewhere? Holding it down means it doesn’t feel like anger anymore. Sometimes it feels like anxiety, sometimes depression, sometimes a whole messy pile of different and confusing feelings. But it’s still there. You may treat the anxiety or the depression but you may be treating the wrong thing, distracted by what you think is wrong rather than what is waiting there underneath.

Something has happened that has made you feel angry. So feel angry, it’s okay to, I promise.

Wrath. Fury. Rage. It’s like acid and it burns, but it is a real emotion and it is SO human to be angry.

Society tells us one thing. Showing anger is not good. It’s not acceptable and it’s just plain inconvenient. Anger can be hard to manage when it’s powerful and you are swimming in the worst of the storm. But there has got to be a way of owning it in the same way you are allowed to own any other emotion as strong. Anger can be painful and scary for other people and that’s not what you want. But you also don’t want that anger then turned inwards so that it’s painful and scary for you instead. So what do you do when you are no longer suppressing it and it has nowhere to go?

Sit with it. Feel it. Shout, scream, swear, cry, do whatever you need. Run until your legs burn, listen to deafening music, talk about it to someone over and over and over. Fight fire with fire. But then, when you have got it all out, remember that fire was never actually solved by adding more fire. After the pain and the bitterness is out there, it’s time to move on and fight fire with water instead so that maybe, the fire can finally be put out for good.

This thing that happened to you. This person who tried to break you. This does not deserve a moment more of your time.

Your life is precious and you are worth so much. Please don’t forget to tell yourself that. Look after yourself. You were hurt and you need to be healed.

Lauren x


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